Three Tips To Cope With Relationship Anxiety

People have an intrinsic need to connect with someone. We build and nurture relationships because it makes our lives happier and more meaningful. Even so, people who are about to enter into a relationship are usually advised to proceed with caution. You want to be careful to lessen the risk of ending up with an unsuccessful relationship. Thus, some people may spend too much time analyzing their compatibility with another person. It is also possible to mull possible relationship problems over and over in your head.

The uncertainty involved in forming a close bond with someone is indeed risky so it is understandable if some will experience relationship anxieties. Psychologists define it as the condition when someone finds it hard to start or maintain relationships because they cannot stop worrying about the negative consequences that might occur. Relationship anxiety is normal to a certain degree but dwelling on these negative emotions too much can hinder you from living a happy and fulfilling life. Do not allow unnecessary worries to prevent you from enjoying lasting and rewarding relationships. The following tips can help you cope with relationship anxiety:

Deal with your insecurities.

Anxious thoughts come when you are not secure about your own strengths and abilities. So even though it may be hard, try to do something to crush the self-doubts in your head. Control your inner voice to ensure that you are not harboring a negative self-image. Set time to reflect on where your insecurities are coming from and actively seek ways to overcome it. Stop thinking that you are not good enough and come face to face with it. Feelings of inadequacies will likely create problems because you may think that you do not deserve to receive love and might also be unable to show affection to others as well.

Manage your expectations.

Having a realistic mindset is crucial in a relationship because very high expectations will likely lead to disappointments. Open your eyes to the truth that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Expecting things to be a bed of roses will just worsen your anxieties. It can also lead to overly demanding behaviors which can easily ruin a relationship. Be ready with the possibility to discover flaws with your partner but realize that learning how to deal with these imperfections is what makes relationships beautiful.

Live for the moment.

People who constantly worry about the future waste their chance to truly enjoy the great moments that are happening in their lives at the moment. Thus, one good way to lessen anxiety is by focusing on the present. Accept that although you can always prepare for it, you cannot really control future events. It is useless to keep on thinking about things that could happen because it may not even happen at all. Thus, prepare for the future but resolve to live life day by day and you may see your anxieties fly away.

Relationships are like two-edged swords; while meaningful ones bring immense benefits, people in toxic relationships can badly suffer. Even so, since we can all grow and learn from our deep connections with others, relationships are usually worth taking the risk. So prepare wisely, let go of anxieties and hope for the best.

Carmela ObarThree Tips To Cope With Relationship Anxiety
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How To Use Conflicts To Strengthen Relationships

Blissful and harmonious – these are common words that come to mind when describing happy and meaningful relationships. And if you want to keep and maintain a strong bond with someone, you oftentimes go out of your way to avoid conflicts as much as possible. Still, finding a couple who manages to stay together for a long time without finding anything to argue about sounds like something from a fantasy world. In reality, many struggle to come to terms with the people who are closest to them.

Can fights in a relationship be healthy?

Fights and misunderstandings are a normal part of a relationship. It is probably more alarming if you and your partner do not have anything to disagree about. An online survey even revealed that arguing increases a couple’s chance to be happy by 10 times. Having arguments can be a sign of a healthy and mature relationship because it is a way for couples to work out their differences. You do not have to change your ways to avoid conflicts or agree to everything your partner wants just to avoid trouble. By arguing, couples communicate their wants and together they figure out ways to resolve it. If done the right way, conflicts are like bridges that couples cross to further strengthen their union. Even so, not every couple knows how to properly deal with disagreements. Oftentimes the frequency and intensity of quarrels can quickly tear down the foundation of even the strongest relationships.

Broken relationships are always sad and the tragedy is worsened if you think simple and little changes could have been done to save it. One way to protect and nurture your relationship is by changing your attitude and approach towards conflicts. So are you always at odds with your partner? Find ways to turn that to your advantage with the following tips.

Be a better listener.

When issues arise in a relationship, it is so tempting to start trying to air your side. Now, if both partners resort to giving their piece of mind at once, no issue is likely to be resolved. In a healthy discussion, you have time to express your mind but also have open ears for your partner. Give your partner time to explain and listen without judgment. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to be more understanding.

Ditch the blame game.

To pin a mistake on someone else is the easy and immature way of dealing with conflicts. Especially since most of the time you cannot attribute a mistake to only one person. Even if someone is really at fault they do not want to hear it over and over. Blaming others can just lead to contempt. So instead of pointing out the wrongs of someone else, look at the issue constructively as you both think of ways on how to avoid it next time.

Control your emotions.

If you are upset, you are likely to do things that you will regret later. Do your best not to let emotions like anger or bitterness get the better of you. It does not mean that you have to suppress your emotions. You have the right to acknowledge what you feel but you can manage the way you react to it. This is something that is easier said than done but if you truly want to protect your relationships, you need to exert real effort to be a master of your emotions. This is, after all, a trait that you can use in all aspects of your life. In times when controlling emotions seems impossible, it is better to take some time off before talking to your partner.

Do not sweat the small stuff.

Not every issue is worth an argument.  You may discover your partner’s annoying habits but if it is not something that creates big trouble, it is probably better to just be patient about it. Besides, creating relationship is also learning to accept some things about your partner. Be patient and learn to pick your battles as not everything is worth your time or attention.

The relationships we have makes life worth living. It is important to consciously take steps to nurture the relationships we have which includes finding ways to cope with conflicts and issues.

Glen and Joya BakerHow To Use Conflicts To Strengthen Relationships
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Five Ways to Better Understand and Appreciate Your Partner

Relationships — no matter how deep the love — are difficult. Just as we matured and evolved from our teen to early adult years, we keep growing. Life’s experiences — joyful, sorrowful and challenging  — affect our personalities, our outlooks and our hopes and dreams. As we grow older, we can’t help but change. That means our relationships do, too. And that means they require care, time and a willingness to walk in the other’s shoes, to see the world through their eyes, to understand their perspective. One of the key elements in healthy, thriving relationships, psychologists and marriage experts say, is understanding each other. We all want to be heard, to be appreciated for who we are.

Here are five simple ways to help you to understand your partner as well as improve your communication and connection with each other.

Be Present In The Moment

When disagreements occur, focus on the present. In other words, be there. Listen actively to what your partner is saying without letting your thoughts and feelings creep in. Allow yourself to really hear him or her. If you’re already formulating your responses while your partner is talking, then you’re not really listening. This same idea applies to any conversation you may have with your partner, not just the difficult ones.

Choose The Right Words

Effectively delivering your message begins with picking and choosing the right words to say. Use “I” rather than “you” when trying to communicate your feelings. By saying, “I felt sad when you didn’t call me  . . . ” rather than “You always ignore me when . . . ” leaves room for conversation and space to meet in the middle. It isn’t accusatory and it doesn’t create feelings of defensiveness. Assumptions many times lead to misunderstandings which you should make a conscious effort to avoid at all costs.

Own Up to Your Mistakes

Take responsibility for your own actions and emotions. If your stress or frustration elicits negative responses or creates tense situations, acknowledge the fact. Be accountable to yourself and to your partner. We sometimes feel that saying “I’m sorry” or explaining that we aren’t at our best is a sign of failure. But it’s really a sign of strength and self-confidence in the relationship, that we will love each other despite our imperfections.

Stay Focused

Keep discussions about an issue brief and concise. Don’t bring additional baggage into the conversation as that can tumbleweed into a much larger ordeal. Focus on one point, keep voices calm and then move on. Bringing up too much or extending the time spent discussing the conflict at hand only stirs the pot and prevents reaching a clear solution to the problem.

Make Time for Each Other

Perhaps one of the easiest ways to improve your understanding of one another is to ensure you set aside time each week just for the two of you. Take turns choosing the date or activity — and be positive about whatever they select, even if that wouldn’t be your first choice. Being willing to do something for your partner, even when it’s not part of your interests, shows you understand what is fulfilling and important to your partner. And, you never know, you might end up enjoying it more than you expected!

So, keeping the fire burning isn’t so difficult when you slow down, take time to listen with heart and head, and are willing to step back a bit to see the perspective of the one you love. Emotions can get messy and muddy the waters. But communicating how you feel with patience, respect and honor for one other can only strengthen and deepen the love that brought you together in the first place.

Glen and Joya BakerFive Ways to Better Understand and Appreciate Your Partner
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5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

Fostering healthy and meaningful relationships is one of the best and most effective ways to improve your success in business and your fulfillment in life. Whether you seek advice from a life coach or business mentor or you find clarity from discussing your current situations with a lifelong friend, family member, or spouse, feeling connected to people has a very direct impact on your personal and professional well-being.

However, it’s important to pay attention to the ways these relationships affect and influence our daily lives. Relationships change just like people do, and not all relationships are going to be perfect forever. A relationship that was once a source of happiness may no longer be providing you with the same health benefits it used to. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with admitting a relationship has run its course as long as you can identify when it is no longer providing you with positivity, happiness, and fulfillment. Read these 5 signs to make sure you can recognize the red flags of a toxic relationship.

You have mismatched life goals

You learn and grow best when you are influenced by people who share common life goals and similar values. These relationships are a constant reminder to be better and do more in the pursuit of your dreams. But if you are constantly surrounding yourself with people who are chasing an entirely different dream or lead a way of life in contrast to your own, the relationship is likely providing more harm than good to your own life path.

Your relationships take more than they give

Whether they drain you of time, energy, or emotion, relationships can be toxic when they take more from you than they give. Healthy relationships should be mutually beneficial and established on the fundamental purpose to build each other up and meet each other’s needs. Whether it’s to provide insight and advice or offer support, every relationship you have in life should be a source of fulfillment––not the opposite. If your relationship is feeling a little one-sided lately, it may be time to reevaluate the purpose of this relationship in your life.

You constantly judge and criticize him or her

There are virtually zero benefits to a relationship where you find yourself constantly judging and criticizing the other person. Often times, these negative habits are rooted in selfishness or jealousy and drain you of valuable energy that should be used in more beneficial areas of your life. Not to mention, the reason you find yourself in constant criticism is because of a disconnect in life values, and your partner is likely judging and criticizing your life values as well. And no one has the time, energy, and effort for a toxic relationship like that.

Spending time with him or her feels like a chore

If making plans with someone feels more like something to check off your to-do list rather than spending enjoyable time together, then something in your relationship has gone off track. Whether you feel drained from his or her constant negativity or your conversations and time together no longer feel as fulfilling as it used to, it may be time to let the relationship lapse.

The only thing you have in common is the past

Sometimes relationships evolve from time and circumstance depending on your stage of life. But people move through life at different speeds, and keeping relationships that cause you to dwell on the past may actually be hindering your ability to advance in life. You need relationships that keep you proactive and forward-thinking, so you can constantly work towards your future instead of staying in your past.

More than anything, make sure the relationships in your life are nothing short of fulfilling because you don’t deserve anything less than that.

 

Glen and Joya Baker5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship
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How to Secure Stronger, More Meaningful Relationships

Romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that need and deserve a little TLC. Friendships, business partnerships, and familial relationships all require certain basic elements of love and care to thrive. If you want to secure a stronger, more meaningful relationship with someone, you have to put in the effort and the time required to forge those lasting bonds. You wouldn’t forget to water the plants in your garden and leave them to wilt, so why would you let your meaningful relationships falter without a sprinkling of communication, a handful of quality time, and a helping of compassion?

Strengthen Your Relationships Through Communication

One of the most important things you can do for the health of your relationships is to communicate. Though it may seem unnecessary—or even burdensome at times—to reach out to your network of friends, family, and colleagues, it’s unbelievably crucial to the success of those relationships.

When you take the time to let the people in your life know that you care for them, you’ll be so richly rewarded by stronger, more meaningful bonds with each and every one of them.

Forge Lasting Bonds With Quality Time

In addition to strengthening your communication skills, it’s also vitally important to carve out time to spend with those that mean the most to you. Quality time is worth so much more than anything else when it comes to relationships. It’s the real bread and butter of meaningful connection.

If you can’t make a significant time commitment, at least try to make the time that you can spend as deeply impactful as possible. Don’t just skim the surface if you’re wanting to strengthen your close personal relationships.

Always Demonstrate Compassion in Relationships

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on from time to time. We all need and deserve compassion in our lives, and sadly, many of us seldom find that comfort. In order to create the strongest, longest lasting relationships, though, it’s crucial to develop that level of compassion for your fellow man.

Demonstrate your compassion by lending a helping hand or a listening ear. Go out of your way to show the people in your life that you’re there for them, through thick and thin. What it really comes down to is loving your neighbor as you love yourself.

Glen and Joya BakerHow to Secure Stronger, More Meaningful Relationships
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