How To Use Conflicts To Strengthen Relationships

Blissful and harmonious – these are common words that come to mind when describing happy and meaningful relationships. And if you want to keep and maintain a strong bond with someone, you oftentimes go out of your way to avoid conflicts as much as possible. Still, finding a couple who manages to stay together for a long time without finding anything to argue about sounds like something from a fantasy world. In reality, many struggle to come to terms with the people who are closest to them.

Can fights in a relationship be healthy?

Fights and misunderstandings are a normal part of a relationship. It is probably more alarming if you and your partner do not have anything to disagree about. An online survey even revealed that arguing increases a couple’s chance to be happy by 10 times. Having arguments can be a sign of a healthy and mature relationship because it is a way for couples to work out their differences. You do not have to change your ways to avoid conflicts or agree to everything your partner wants just to avoid trouble. By arguing, couples communicate their wants and together they figure out ways to resolve it. If done the right way, conflicts are like bridges that couples cross to further strengthen their union. Even so, not every couple knows how to properly deal with disagreements. Oftentimes the frequency and intensity of quarrels can quickly tear down the foundation of even the strongest relationships.

Broken relationships are always sad and the tragedy is worsened if you think simple and little changes could have been done to save it. One way to protect and nurture your relationship is by changing your attitude and approach towards conflicts. So are you always at odds with your partner? Find ways to turn that to your advantage with the following tips.

Be a better listener.

When issues arise in a relationship, it is so tempting to start trying to air your side. Now, if both partners resort to giving their piece of mind at once, no issue is likely to be resolved. In a healthy discussion, you have time to express your mind but also have open ears for your partner. Give your partner time to explain and listen without judgment. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to be more understanding.

Ditch the blame game.

To pin a mistake on someone else is the easy and immature way of dealing with conflicts. Especially since most of the time you cannot attribute a mistake to only one person. Even if someone is really at fault they do not want to hear it over and over. Blaming others can just lead to contempt. So instead of pointing out the wrongs of someone else, look at the issue constructively as you both think of ways on how to avoid it next time.

Control your emotions.

If you are upset, you are likely to do things that you will regret later. Do your best not to let emotions like anger or bitterness get the better of you. It does not mean that you have to suppress your emotions. You have the right to acknowledge what you feel but you can manage the way you react to it. This is something that is easier said than done but if you truly want to protect your relationships, you need to exert real effort to be a master of your emotions. This is, after all, a trait that you can use in all aspects of your life. In times when controlling emotions seems impossible, it is better to take some time off before talking to your partner.

Do not sweat the small stuff.

Not every issue is worth an argument.  You may discover your partner’s annoying habits but if it is not something that creates big trouble, it is probably better to just be patient about it. Besides, creating relationship is also learning to accept some things about your partner. Be patient and learn to pick your battles as not everything is worth your time or attention.

The relationships we have makes life worth living. It is important to consciously take steps to nurture the relationships we have which includes finding ways to cope with conflicts and issues.

Glen and Joya BakerHow To Use Conflicts To Strengthen Relationships
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Enrich Your Lifestyle & Make A Difference: Do These 4 Things Everyday!

Life is a precious gift given to all, yet not everyone has the strength or wisdom to appreciate and enjoy every moment. Sadly, a recent survey by Gallup, a performance-management consulting company, revealed that the number of people who are sad or in pain have increased over the last ten years. This research exposes the unfortunate truth that unhappiness affects people worldwide.

But to succumb to depression is to accept defeat. Instead of letting life get you down, the results of the survey mentioned above should even give you a reason to strive for a more meaningful existence. Happiness is a daily decision you make if you want to improve your life and make a difference. You can start by a making a firm resolve to do the following things everyday.

Commit to doing a good deed.

Kindness goes a long way because the positive action benefits both the receiver and giver. It boosts your confidence by knowing you can brighten someone’s day, and at the same time, create a positive influence. So why not make it a daily goal to do something good for others? It does not have to be a burdensome task. It can be as simple as lending a hand to someone in need of assistance or being more patient to someone having a hard time.

Commit to see the good side of everything.

You cannot expect for things to always go smoothly or for people to always be on your side. To fully enjoy every moment, you should try to not allow negative people and situations to dampen your cheerful spirit. You may not be able to avoid gloomy people or situations, but you can choose to focus on the good side of things.

If you stay positive, problems come with valuable lessons and losing something opens an opportunity to find something new. Another thing that will help you focus on positivity is realizing that the negative things or people have nothing to do with you. This means that you can ignore or avoid them. You can also overcome the negative energy with your positive outlook.

Commit to loving yourself more.

If you seek happiness in others, you may end up hurt and disappointed. Your joy should come from within. You can nurture your inner happiness by doing things that you love everyday. Life is tough enough, so don’t be too hard on yourself. You can always push yourself to do better, but don’t forget to be gentle with yourself. Take a break if you are tired or find ways to reward yourself after a long, exhausting day.

Commit to learning.

Famous scientist Albert Einstein once said, “I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious.” This quote from a man whose discoveries greatly benefited society states that wonderful things happen when one is always eager to welcome and study new ideas. Learning is a lifelong journey and the vast world will never run out of things for you to discover.

So keep your eyes open for new knowledge and skills to learn. If you find joy in learning new things, you will never lose that sense of wonder which is essential to seeing the beauty of life. Your dedication to gain more knowledge will contribute to your overall satisfaction in life.

So many people are in despair and it isn’t hard to fathom why. Life is not a walk in the park, and sometimes it seems easier to just live in misery day after day. It takes courage, determination and commitment to fully experience the joy of living. To enrich your life, you need guts to rise above failures and disappointments. It may sound difficult to stay happy in a grief-laden world, but it is a challenge worth pursuing.

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Six Ways To Continuously Reap Success & Achieve Excellence

People who chased and found success realized that it is not a journey with a definite ending. Rather, it is a breathtaking destination that leads to more magnificent sights. It can also be likened to a door that opens new pathways to more exciting adventures. The only sensible thing to do if you wish to hold on to your success is to move forward. You cannot stop or move backward because it is like turning your back to a wealth of treasures that are within your reach.

Committing to the following behaviors will help you continuously enjoy victory in life:

Be an early riser

If you see yourself as a night owl, you may want to seriously consider shifting to a more active morning routine. Various studies linking the habit of waking up early to productivity and success may just convince you. A study regarding the behaviors of successful people by financial planner and bestselling author, Thomas Corley, revealed that almost half of the self-made millionaires involved in his research make an effort to rise hours before their workday begins. By starting your day an hour or two earlier, you get ample time to prepare for the tasks ahead and you greatly increase the chance of accomplishing more. If being a morning person proves to be a big challenge, remind yourself of the quotes that “The early bird gets the worm” and “You snooze, you lose.”

Be a voracious reader

The fact that a great number of notable individuals such as Warren Buffett, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Gates are self-confessed bookworms may just convince you to pick up that book that is just gathering dust in the corner of your room. Books are source of entertainment and knowledge so setting a time for daily reading is a pleasant way to increase your mental power and nurture creativity. At the same time, the knowledge you gained from reading gives you an edge over others.

Challenge yourself every day

Staying in your comfort zone is like setting up a pigeonhole that restrains your growth and potential. Besides, you cannot totally avoid risks if you wish to achieve something great in life. So liven up your routines by finding ways to push yourself to the limit each day. Simple ways to do this include doing an extra set of sit-up exercises or completing a project in half the time.

Keep on learning

The world is an infinite source of knowledge and learning is a continuous process so there will always be new things to discover. Successful individuals never stop upon reaching their goals. Instead, they keep themselves indispensable by acquiring new skills and honing existing strengths. They also manage to stay a step ahead of the game by keeping an eye on latest trends and breakthroughs.

Always be thankful

Life would hand with you a fair share of problems that make it hard to pursue fruitful living. Successful people though resist the pull of negativity by constantly focusing on the bright side. By choosing to be grateful for everything including difficulties, you can stay inspired and motivated to keep on reaching for your dreams.

Invest on good health

Even with strong willpower, soaring to new heights will be next to impossible if you are physically weak. You need energy and stamina to do extraordinary things so nourish your body with essential nutrients it needs to stay healthy.

The determination and discipline to commit to good habits are vital keys that make the quest to achieve your full potential and enjoy continued success possible. The amount of effort you have to exert in the pursuit of excellence will never be wasted because it will allow you to experience the best that this life has to offer.

Glen and Joya BakerSix Ways To Continuously Reap Success & Achieve Excellence
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The Lessons We Should Teach All Kids Before They Enter a Classroom

Merriam-Webster defines knowledge as “the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association or the acquaintance with or understanding of a science, art, or technique.” In other words, knowledge is the collection of skills, facts, and information. It also seems to be the primary reason to send children to school. We want them to learn and to know things, to become knowledgeable, if you will, about the world they live in. We want them to succeed from an educational standpoint, and the environment inside classrooms reinforces this principle.

This mentality starts at a very young age. Elementary-schoolers are exposed to test-taking by the ripe, young age of six with first-grade level spelling tests. Essentially, this test-taking mindset never stops throughout a child’s entire education, and arguably through their entire life.  Children learn very early on that the grade received on a test represents how well the child does or does not master the material. There is a certain degree of validity to test-taking and the assessment of knowledge because we have to be sure that our children are learning, understanding and mastering material before moving on.

But, what happens when kids start comparing grades? What happens when children start realizing they’re actually not as smart as they believed themselves to be? That seemingly insignificant number circled in red pen on their assignment starts to mean a lot more. Their small, little world comes shattering down and crushes their desire to learn along with it.

If test-taking ensures the learning, understanding and mastering of certain skills and information, where is the assessment to make sure this information is actually being processed correctly? Where is the emphasis on the actual enterprises of the mind and not merely just the ability to collect and remember facts and information?

That being said, there are some lessons we should teach all kids before they enter a classroom.

 

Unfortunately, there may never be an accurate and completely foolproof way to fairly measure the actual processes of learning that take place inside children’s minds. But, there is a way to increase the chances of it. This is why we have to, we absolutely must, teach kids the difference between knowledge and intelligence before they enter the classroom. Before they take their first test. Before they get the wrong idea about the purpose of education.

Children must be aware that if knowledge is the collection of information learned in school, intelligence is the application of it. Intelligence is the truer indicator of a person’s cognition, but it’s just harder to measure. The rhetoric and narrative that surrounds children and their need to succeed are founded far too much in the emphasis on knowledge.

So before your kids enter a classroom for the first time, emphasize the fact that the number at the top of any test they ever take doesn’t accurately represent just how smart they truly are. What really matters is the ability to apply information learned in school to other situations. Inform them that their level of intelligence is much more valuable than their ability to collect information. If you do this, you’ll see much more successful results perhaps in school, but especially in life.

Glen and Joya BakerThe Lessons We Should Teach All Kids Before They Enter a Classroom
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3 Amazing Gifts You Give Your Child That Cost Nothing

Throughout the year, there are countless opportunities to show our children that we love them through material gifts. There’s Christmas with its bountiful presents, Easter with its eggs and baskets, birthdays with their cakes and balloons, and countless other occasions where physical goods win out in the war for affection. But, the most impactful of gifts are the ones that last a lifetime. They’re the ones that can’t be bought at the store; they are earned through positive parenting.

There are at least three amazing gifts that you can give your child that cost absolutely nothing.

The Gift of Self-Esteem

First of all, one of the most amazing gifts that you can impart to your child is the gift of self-esteem. Though it’s not something that can be wrapped up and cinched with a bow, it’s truly one of the best presents you can give to your kids.

So, how do you give the gift of self-esteem? It starts and ends with letting your kids do things for themselves. It may be easier to cut their meat for them when they’re little, and it may be even easier (and less terrifying) to drive them everywhere when they’re teens. But, in the end, doing all of those things for your kids hurts them more than it helps either of you. When you let them try (and often fail) on their own, you inadvertently—and purposely—give them the gift of self-esteem.

The Gift of Quality Time

Time is money. Time is priceless. Time can be spent. Time can be wasted. But, when you spend quality time with your children, it’s never wasted. You never want for the money you could have earned when you were reading bedtime stories to your kids.

It only stands to reason, then, that one of the greatest gifts you could give your children is the gift of quality time. Though you could technically put a price tag on the time you spend with them, the experiences you’ll both have together are ultimately worth so much more than any wage could measure up to.

Quality time with your kids is worth the world.

The Gift of Imparted Wisdom

Last, but certainly not least, the gift of imparted wisdom is the ultimate gift that we all give our kids—whether we realize it or not. The wisdom that we place along are not always intentionally imparted, but all the same, just the way our parents taught us about the basic truths of life, so we teach our kids how to be better people.

In the end, we grace our kids with the best (free) gift of all: how to live a value-centered, meaningful life. We hope that they continue that tradition and leave their children with even greater wisdom than we could impart, and in that, we aim to make the world a better and better place with each generation.

The most amazing gift is the gift of a remarkable legacy.

Glen and Joya Baker3 Amazing Gifts You Give Your Child That Cost Nothing
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How to Do Less and Lead More

In most modern businesses, there are essentially two types of leaders. Of course, to be fair, there are thousands upon thousands of ways to classify and slice and dice and categorize leaders, but for the purposes of this article, we’re going to focus on two major trends in business leadership. First of all, there are leaders who lead by example; they’re hands-off, and they’d prefer to work themselves to the bone in the hopes that their followers will emulate them. Secondly, in the opposite camp, there are leaders who take the time to lead intentionally. They don’t seem to be doing quite as much as their overactive counterparts, but what you don’t see is the commitment to excellence they embody through their subtle methods.

All of this is not to say either way is necessarily the “right” way to lead, but there are some notable benefits to the method of hands-on, subtle leadership. It’s all in the art of doing less and leading more.

So, how do you do less and lead more? It’s certainly not a simple feat. It takes finesse. It takes communication. More than anything, it takes dedication.

If you’re going to commit to doing less for yourself, if you’re going to put a stop to simply leading by example, then you need to go all in. You need to be there 100 percent in every respect for your followers, for your mentees, for the people you help and coach.

How do you go all in? There’s really no set way to go all in, but at the core of the principle is the idea that this is a calling. To be a leader is a unique vocation, and it’s one that very few truly receive and even fewer answer.

When you feel compelled to lead others, and you answer that call, you have to be willing to make it a priority.

At the end of the day, you will ultimately be doing so much more as a leader, even if you’re nominally doing less. You may not get the glory for your own work, but you’ll have something even better: the satisfaction of knowing you truly led.

Glen and Joya BakerHow to Do Less and Lead More
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